What Your Ex's New Squeeze Says About You
Christina Boyd
Relationships fizzle, that’s a fact of life. Sure, the split can leave you anywhere from bummed to outright distraught, but there is always something to be learned. While you can best understand what went wrong by talking about what happened, sometimes a lack of communication makes this impossible. So when you can’t discuss, observation may be the next best thing. There are a lot of things you can look for, but one of the best ways to learn about yourself and your ex is seeing who they go for after you…
The Twin:
This one can go one of two ways. 1) Your ex had a “type” and you fit the bill. Unfortunately, they have yet to figure out that they’re going for the wrong type. 2) You and your significant other were, in fact, compatible, but something got in the way. This could be anything from bad timing to a wandering eye.
The Polar Opposite:
If your ex goes for someone who is the exact opposite of you, they are most likely out for a rebound, especially if you were the one who did the dumping. Warning: The one caveat to this statement is that it is possible that you were the one who was the rebound and afterward your ex reverted back to the tried and true.
The Doormat:
You might first think that this means that you were too controlling, but such is not always the case. If someone wants to be controlled, they will always find another person who will singlehandedly man the reins. If you ex goes for someone who won’t say “no,” it is because they suffer from “the-world-revolves-around-me-itis.” When you put your foot down and recommended an “anal silver spoon-ectomy” you bruised their tender ego, thereby leading them to seek out a doormat who would re-inflate that ego to its original proportions. Make no apologies.
The Showpiece:
You will know this one when you see it. At first, the new squeeze makes you a little self-conscious and you have that overwhelming feeling of “maybe I wasn’t good enough.” But then you hear them speak and, ah, overwhelming relief – they are a bumbling idiot. This means that your ex either never respected your intelligence, or was intimidated by it. All they ever wanted was a showpiece and you brought too much to the table. Their loss.
The Downgrade:
This happens when you see the ex with the one who replaced you and can’t help but get a sly, little smirk on your face. If your ex takes a noticeable step down in his or her choice of a mate, it probably means that there was some issue of insecurity. If it was an insecurity that was part of your ex’s character, there is nothing you can really do about that. But, it could also mean that you did something that made them feel that way – perhaps flirt excessively, spend too much time around other opposite-gender friends and acquaintances, or outright cheat. Make sure you analyze the situation – if the latter is in fact that case, you will be wise to be more conscious of your behavior in the next relationship.
The Mission Uterus/Sperm:
Just months after a split, you will find yourself holding an invitation to an ex’s wedding or baby shower. As you stand there trying to pick your jaw up off of the floor, it will suddenly dawn on you that there was always something weird about the relationship. Your ex was always trying to push things forward at warp speed, while you were trying to stay on a casual stroll. Then it dawns on you – they were on mission uterus/sperm; that is, they weren’t interested in you, so much as the idea of settling down and having children with anyone who was ready and willing. Don’t get me wrong: I love kids, but dating someone with such motives can be downright terrifying when it is one-sided. Not to mention the fact that it would be nice to be more than just the missing piece of the procreation puzzle.